It's Not What You Say But Who You Are

Last night I gathered with other believers as we centered ourselves on scripture. It's a beautiful thing how the Spirit speaks to each of us differently from the same passages and then also how the community responds in love and listening.

One of the members shared something about which she had a question and opened it up to the rest of us. With little hesitation I was the first to respond. But even as I was sharing I had the thought,

"Why do I feel like I have to say something?"

After I finished my thought, I let other people talk for a little bit as I did some praying with God. Why do I feel compelled to contribute? I notice that I often offer to pray first, share something, or give a
word of advice/wisdom. While this can be a good thing, I have a hard time believing this is always the Holy Spirit's prompting. If I believe God is present, why do I feel anxious to butt in? Why do I feel responsible as the spokesperson for the group? Why can't I just listen to somebody else's answer? Or do I believe that what I have to say is better? Even if nobody responds, is what I have to say more holy than silence? Probably not.

My wife has said, "people will remember not what you say, but who you are."

I want to be a person who allows room for the Holy Spirit speak, especially in the stories and words of others. And in order to do that, I need to be able to hold back my eager comments.

So I pray for grace to become a better listener, to allow others to be at ease knowing they are heard. I pray for insight to ask questions that help others know I want to hear more from them. I pray for unhurried wisdom to speak truth gently when prompted by the Holy Spirit. And I pray again for wisdom to know when to just shut up.