Pages

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Leading in a Fog

How do I get kids to understand the kingdom of God? How do I shift their conceptions of the Christian life? These are essential questions I have been asking ever since I was hired a few months ago as a youth pastor at First CRC of Grand Haven. I’ve never actually led a youth group, but like most young people in ministry, I make up for it in eagerness, optimism, and consternation. This summer I exercised my brain, wringing it for ideas, vision and strategies. I put together all the scriptures for the whole semester so as to walk the students through the basics of the kingdom of God. I imagined students’ faith light bulbs flashing weekly with fresh revelations.

As it turns out, ministry is much less linear than that. Piled in my lap are more questions than answers. I have more vagueness than determinations. From a distance, solutions seemed clear. But as I have engaged in community relationships with students, I have somehow entered a thick fog*. It’s as if I have inherited some of their condition; I feel what they feel about their faith: stuck, unimaginative, and yet mindlessly hopeful. O God, have I gone down into the pit only to need rescuing myself? I thought I was supposed to be the leader with the plan!
“How do we lead the church when we are tangled in theological puberty?” led Kyle Small in our class the other week. “We don’t lead out in front of our congregations, we are drawn by the Spirit into new space. We immerse ourselves in scripture, the Word of Love. And like a word of love from a loved one, scripture echoes in our hearts. We dwell in this Word and let it speak to us over and over again.” As he gently led us through dwelling in the Word together, I was refreshed by the Spirit; I was reminded that the Word of Love is not concerned so much about destination.
Two months ago I was asked by our director of discipleship to lead adult education on a Sunday after church. She and I thought it would be a great chance to introduce myself to the congregation and to communicate my vision for the youth group. The date was approaching and I was praying, “God, what do I say? How do I get these adults on board with the youth ministry? How do I fill my allotted time?!” The “dwelling” experience with Kyle Small came to mind.
That Sunday we gathered in the sanctuary for Adult Ed and I shared my story. The Spirit was present as I told of my upbringing and my shortcomings, the times I had questioned God and the times he had revealed himself. I invited us to open scripture to Luke 10. I prayed. I read it slowly. I invited them to share with one another. I invited them to share what they heard with everyone. Hands all over the sanctuary went up with rich questions, curiosities and insights. I showed how God was sending students out into mission. I closed by leading a time of communal prayer. Afterward, I received this text from our director of discipleship:
Thank you for your Adult Ed today! I have coordinated Adult Ed for 2.5 years now and there are only a few times during Adult Ed where the Holy Spirit has been so palpable. Your session was one of those times and we were blessed to have you guide us to the work of the Spirit among us!
All I can say is praise God! Maybe it’s okay for me to have questions as a leader, to not always have a clear vision. This week I have been drawn to dwell in the Word myself. It is a work of grace. As I enter deeper into the fog with youth, may I be a leader who is drawn by the Spirit to dwell in the Word with students.



*other than adolescent B.O.

No comments:

Post a Comment