New Season, New Practices*

As I look over the past ten days, I have experienced a lot of joy and challenge, mostly around beginning classes at WTS. It’s a joy to be fully committed to something, to dive in with my whole heart and give my best. It’s a joy to enter into a community of love and formation in which I feel welcomed and embraced. I feel joy at the end of the day knowing I have worked well toward a good end. I feel joy as I engage in my readings and subject matter and learn so much about a God who loves me way more than I ever thought. It has been a challenge to get less sleep and
practice more routine and discipline, but a challenge that I have (so far) gladly accepted. It’s funny that when something captivating is set before you, sacrifice is no question. My brother has a child and talks about this all the time in relation to the “sacrifices” he makes for his son.

As I’ve entered into schoolwork, it’s been challenging to find time or mental space for ministry. I am glad that this program places such emphasis on practical ministry. Otherwise I think I would have pushed it out of the way for the sake of “higher things”. I am working at making sure I have space to be fully present with students at First CRC Grand Haven.

I great moment of joy this week was Thursday afternoon. Rich, our pastor at First CRC, told me he’d like to meet at 1:30. I arrived as he was casually making coffee. He invited me into his office and kicked up his bare feet on the coffee table. We chatted and caught up about life, ministry, school, and vacation. He asked about my classes and my trip. As we talked about the recent church-sponsored neighborhood breakfast (which went well, by the way), Rich shared with me his doubts about the future of our congregation. He said on Tuesday he felt low, almost depressed wondering if our congregation has what it takes to transition to the congregation God desires us to be. He raised questions as to whether he was the right leader for our church. He voiced sadness for our church and also a yearning for something more. Rather than repel me, his comments drew me into a place of understanding. I identify with his sentiments regarding the church. I was amazed at his vulnerability as a leader. He didn’t wrap it back up for me in a cute bow like, “Well, God works in mysterious ways!” or “God works all things together for good!” He just let it hang there open ended. Wow. After a little while, I expected him to “shift gears” and get some agenda items covered with me. After all, I am his employee. But that never came. We ended with a time of prayer and thanksgiving for all that was going on in our lives and in the life of our church. Leaving his office I turned back around, shook his hand, and looked him in the eyes and said, “Rich, I want to thank you for taking time to build a relationship with me. I feel valued, and it means a lot to me.” He said he plans on doing it every week. Praise God.

*One of the new practices I have will be not-blogging. With piles of reading, classes, assignments, and youth ministry, I don't think it wise to continue the regular practice of blogging. HOWEVER, since I will be writing for other purposes, I may as well post some of my more appropriate reflections and assignments for seminary here on Watch. Listen. Be. Please feel free to comment and add your own take on the subject.