All at the Same Time

The kids on our block play incessantly*. Today was no different. It was fifty degrees outside and a half dozen of them were running around in their shorts and tee shirts, building forts, throwing the football, and laughing a lot. There's usually a group of adults watching them and hanging out, and I notice that they usually are smoking. My first thought is that these parents are setting bad examples for these kids**, teaching them bad habits. My second thought is that these parents are so cool to let their kids outside to play with one another and that they're there, hanging out together. Not every parent is like this***. I'm embarrassed that my first thought is one of judgment, coming to negative conclusions based on my narrow vision. The truth is that nobody is perfect. 

Rachel told me that our sweet neighbor, Sandy, put up some Christmas lights a couple years ago, and a neighbor came by, took them and cut them up to sell the copper wire. I could not think of something more grinch-like to do. I imagined this person with green skin up in their cave somewhere on our block with a heart two-sizes too small, scheming ways to ruin people's Christmas. 

I told Rachel how evil I thought this was, how I couldn't believe we were living near people so heartless. She was confused. Because (apparently) I heard her wrong. I heard her say, "Sandy put up some Christmas lights," but what she really said was, "Sandy put out some Christmas lights," like put them out in a box, like put them out for whoever needed them. Well that's a horse of a different color! 

It's amazing how fast my imaginations can draw up judgments on others. I probably do this more often than I admit, and way more often than I even realize. Do I really think I am free from the judgments of others, that I am so blameless? I want to take time to listen first, to hold off my judgments, pay attention and see people as God's children who are loved and broken all at the same time.

*I grew up on a cul-de-sac-full of neighborhood friends. We would play almost every day after school until it was dark out. We would play our own custom-made games like "move around hide-and-go-seek", "orphans" (in which us "orphans" would run from the cops, sneak into houses and steal snacks, and build forts), "ninjas" (where the oldest of us would teach us ninja moves, using us as the dummies. "Ninjas never cry" was the motto, especially when one of us took grass to the face), "quick gro" (we would make a soup of garden findings that could magically grow new plants), and "Christian Cross", our neighborhood Christian garage band, complete with original songs, a recorded tape, ticketed concerts and popcorn.

**As a kid I was taught that smoking was bad. Jim, a dad of one of my childhood neighbors, smoked, and I used to think he was a bad man because of it. Kids sometimes draw lines pretty hard, but I think sometimes adults do too. 

***I know of plenty of kids who's parents are seemingly perfect, who keep their kids safe indoors, who hire babysitters constantly, who set their kids in front of screens and head out for more important things.